A Wonderful Score – Golf Poetry

A Wonderful Score – Golf Poetry

THIS is a tale of a golfer grand, 
A famous man to drive, 
And how he made our nine hole course 
In a score of 45. 

An easy short first hole was ours, 
Its cognomen was "Bun"; 
And our famous friend began his round 
By making it in 1. 

Then next he drove two hundred yards 
And landed on the "Zoo" 
(This green was near a barnyard fence) 
And holed his putt in 2. 

The third was guarded by an oak, 
And so we called it "Tree" ; 
In spite of many obstacles 
He made this hole in 3. 

He did not drive so well next time, 
In going to the "Store"'; 
But with a lucky brassey shot 
He drew an easy 4. 

His ball was bunkered at the fifth, 
Down by the carriage drive; 
But still he got out beautifully 
And ran it down in 5. 

The course now lengthened out a bit
In going to the "Styx" ; 
And while he did his best he found 
He did the sixth in 6. 

The next was on a little hill 
And therefore nicknamed "Heaven" ; 
Our friend inclined to think it — well, 
It only cost him 7. 

Right here he lost his nerve a bit 
In going down to "Fate"; 
He found two bunkers on the way 
And so he scored an 8. 

The ninth and last hole near the club 
Was aptly called "The Wine"; 
Here, foozling every shot he tried. 
He found the cup in 9. 

We've often heard strange tales, and more 
We'll hear, if we survive ; 
But liars alone can make this score — 
A consecutive 45. 

Walter N. P. Barrow, in Lyrics of the Links, published in 1921.