Senior Golfers Beat Teen Idiot

[rant on]

Two septuagenarians have been arrested after they used their ball retrievers to whack a teenager who was interrupting their game with an air horn.

Granted, the seniors should know better. But in my mind, the kid is a horses’ ass and deserved it (especially since he apparently was actually unharmed).

The incident was caught on film (apparently by the teen idiot’s other idiot friends), and his father took it to the sheriff to get charges filed. That’s modern fatherhood for you: Your kid is out of line, embarrassing the family name and instead of lowering the boom on him when you find out, you defend his actions by heading to the police.

If I had behaved in such a fashion, there’s no way I would have told my Dad what happened. I wouldn’t have lived long enough past the “I was blowing an airhorn and scaring some seniors” part to be able to get to the bit where they retaliated. My best bet would have been to keep my mouth shut and hope that the seniors didn’t show up at my door to tell my dad WHY they had whacked me. He would have thanked them and then had me on my hands and knees apologizing for my unacceptable behavior. Any thumping I received from the old farts would have been viewed as my just deserts and only a prelude to the administration of Dad’s own justice.

Here’s what the punk learns from this: I can be a jerk and my Dad will make it ok. Even more: I can be a jerk and my Dad will make my victims look like the villains. I’m willing to bet a sleeve of golf balls that the kid is no honors student with a clean school record. This likely is not the first time Dad has undeservedly bailed him out.  In a couple of years, the punk’s Dad probably will be one of those parents who show up at the kid’s job interviews.

I wonder that the Dad would say if his son had scared one of the seniors into a heart attack, or if he had cause a wayward ball to strike someone. He’s probably have a lawyer defending his son’s right to blast an air horn as freedom of speech.

If my own teen pulled a stunt like that, his best bet would be to head to the bus station and get a one way ticket to Grandma’s. Maybe she would merciful. Maybe not.

But then again, my kid isn’t going to pull a stunt like that. There’s no way I let him have an airhorn because I know no good can come of a teen with an airhorn. And he doesn’t have the time to go out and stalk senors on a golf course because I have him doing homework, practicing his violin, and going to church and scout meetings. He doesn’t have time for pranks because I have him enlisted in service projects.

I just hope that some day the father in question rues the day he started defending his son’s bad behavior

[rant off]

There. I feel better now.