The Golfer – Golf Poetry

THE GOLFER 

HE bought two gaudy, scarlet coats, 
Brass buttons, with green collars; 
His knickerbockers made the bill 
Close to $100. 

The golf club that he joined was large, 

Established well and thrifty ; 
And for his fee, in good hard cash. 

He next put up a 50. 

His brassey, cleeks and putter fine, 

The club with which to drive. 
The bag, the balls, and other sticks. 

Cost nearly 25. 

With shoes, broad-soled, with hob-nails filled. 

He next his feet bedecks ; 
For them he gave up in exchange 

A crisp, new green-backed X. 

For sundries, like a code of rules, 

White paint, a rubber tee. 
And books to tell him how to play. 

He dropped at least a V, 

At last he started out one day, 

And as he hit the fence — 
"Gee!" some one heard the caddie say, 

"He plays like 30 cents." 

Anonymous
In Lyrics of the Links, published 1921 

Some things never change. Here we have the eternal story of the golfer who plunks down a wad of money, and plays no better in the end.


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