One of my colleagues forwarded this email to me. I have no idea of the source:
Top 10 Caddy Comments:
#10
Golfer: I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.
Caddy: Do you think you can keep your head down that long?
#9
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course
Caddy: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth
#8
Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: Yes sir. You miss the ball much closer now
#7
Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
Caddy: Eventually
#6
Golfer: You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world?
Caddy: I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.
#5
Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction?
Caddy: It’s not a watch. It’s a compass.
#4
Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good sir. But personally, I prefer golf.
#3
Golfer: Do you think its a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you plan, its a sin on any day.
#2
Golfer: This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.
Caddy: This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.
#1
Golfer: That can’t be my ball. It’s too old.
Caddy: It’s been a long time since we teed off.
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The one I like, I have heard a couple people say that they have heard it first hand while playing in Scotland. After slicing on the first drive of the day, they tee up another ball and ask the caddy what do they call a mulligan in Scotland, and the answer is “Hitting Three”.