When I Putt – Golf Poetry

WHEN I putt it seems to me 
The whole world's in conspiracy. 
The jangling church bell in the far-off tower, 
Tolling the knell of the departing hour; 
The fleeting shadow of the scudding cloud; 
The caddies' whisper, sibilant and loud ; 
The twittering sparrows in the near-by tree- 
Are all allied to worry me, 
When I putt. 

When I putt I clearly see 
Dragon flies make darts at me, 
While droning beetles and buzzing bees 
And locusts singing in the trees, 
And croaking frogs in the muddy pond, 
With honking Fords in the road beyond, 
And cawing crows, with unfeigned glee, 
All join to fret and worry me. 
When I putt. 

When I putt the wriggling worm 
Crawls on my line with slimy squirm ; 
While spry mosquitoes flock round my head. 
Till I miss the putt that I've laid dead ; 
And caterpillars, void of etiquette, 
Move on the green when I am set ; 
With one to go and Jock one up. 
My ball just hangs on the lip of the cup. 
When I putt

by Joseph A. Campbell, in Lyrics of the Links, published in 1921