Random Golf Thoughts

Some random thought I wrote down while playing a round today. I had plenty of time, thanks to the fivesome ahead of me:

Defying mathematics, five-somes move fifty percent slower than four-somes.

I read somewhere that trees are 80% air. I wonder why my balls always hit the 20%.

Napoleon once said that he preferred lucky generals to brilliant ones. But Gary Player said that the more he practices, the luckier he gets.

Why is it that every time my ball hits a tree, it ricochets FURTHER into the woods. Left side. Right side. Middle of the fairway. If I hit a tree, the ball is gone. Just once, I’d like to get a PGA Tour break and have a tree kick my ball back into the fairway.

Courses should have benches on every tee. Busy ones should have benches at the 150 mark on the sides of the fairways.

Sixty degrees is the perfect weather for golf. Long pants, a light jacket. You don’t work up a big sweat when walking.

Someone needs to develop Canada Geese repellent and spray it around courses. Those beasts are ill tempered.

Would you be fined by the DNR if you had to kill a Canada goose in self defense?

Public courses have a lot of “features” that the pros never have to face. For example, the course I played today challenged my skills by having a different kind of “sand” in every bunker.

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2 thoughts on “Random Golf Thoughts”

  1. “I read somewhere that trees are 80% air. I wonder why my balls always hit the 20%”

    The “80% air” refers to volume. But your golf ball needs a straight line through. You have to imagine the tree flattened like a pancake/wall. It would no longer be “80% air,” but you have not added any branches or leaves. To get by, your ball needs to find one of the holes in that flattened pancake.

  2. Fivesomes should be illegal at the federal level.  If you’re reading this and you play a fivesome—please for the love of all that’s good—stop.

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