So Different! – Golf Poetry


I THOUGHT it hard luck when I met her,
Introduced by our hostess, and found
That the maid and myself, for the evening
Thro' dinner and auction were bound.
She didn't appeal, not the slightest.
Her sun-freckled face had no charm,
While the style of her dress was weird, I confess,
And the prospect I viewed with alarm.

I bucked up my best ; conversation,
Intended to cheer and impress.
Seemed only the maid to embarrass,
And ended in rather a mess.
Still later, at auction, confound it.
She trumped my good queen, and revoke —
'Twas something she loved to indulge in,
Till the game on our side was a joke.

Then, hang it, next day in the foursomes.
We were drawn, and thus partners were we
In a mixed competition, important,
That I wanted a winner to be.
With a shrug of the shoulder — 'twas kismet,
I bowed to omnipotent fate.
And stepped to the tee, a martyr per se,
Prepared for the worst — desolate.

But lo and behold! With amazement
I watched this young partner of mine
Drive off with a graceful abandon.
Perfection of motion divine.
Compared with my own puny efforts,
A dub in her eyes I would seem,
For she was a regular player,
While I was the merest "has been."

W. Hastings Webling
in Lyrics of the Links, published 1921

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